And preschool germs
And cold weather
And kleenex
And cool mist humidifiers
And vics
And inhalers
And perscriptions
And popcicles
And night sweats
And a sick Mom and sick kid and trying to take care of him and me while we both lay in bed
And everything else…
Fuck Winter
It’s November and naturally that means my children have that ‘fine one week’, ’snotty and puking the next’ thing going on. It means when Ratatouille comes out on DVD, and we’ve been couped up in the house for a week with some random preschool virus, I go to the store to get it right away.
Now. I’ve talked about this issue before…but can I just please, say this again…just in case you didn’t hear me way-back-when before CARS came out…
STOP SHOWING MY SON YOUR NEW MOVIE A YEAR BEFORE HE GETS TO SEE IT STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR I’M BRINGING HIM UP TO NORTHERN CALIFORNIA AND LETTING YOU PIXAR SADISTS BABYSIT HIS ASS WHILE HE WHINES FOR 5 HOURS STRAIGHT AND DEMANDS TO KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY DAYS UNTIL WALL*E IS OUT IN THEATRES AND WHY HE CAN’T SEE THE ROBOT NOW AND WHY DO THEY SAY HE IS COMING AND WHEN IS HE COMING AND CAN WE WATCH THE PREVIEW 40 TIMES IN 50 MINUTES SO MOMMY’S HEAD EXPLODES AT MERELY THE SIGHT OF THAT RESTAURANT TABLE WHERE SOME STUPID BRAINSTORMING SESSION TOOK PLACE TO CREATE THIS FUCKING ROBOT THAT I NOW HOPE DIES A FIERY DEATH AT THE END OF THIS DAMN MOVIE
We’re going to buy your shit anyway. You’re not getting any more marketing leverage here. We’re a captive and totally sold audience. All you are doing is making my life hell. HELL.
So really, I see two options here…you can release WALL*E now, or you can send a letter of explanation to my robot-loving son giving him solid reasons (that means I don’t want to hear “to generate buzz” “to market more toys” or “to pump up the hype before the box office release”) why he has to wait until late summer of 2008. I fully understand you need a few good months of hype…but HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD THINK of the PARENTS.
You make amazing movies. They are kid movies, and yes we adults love them too. But I have to ask-DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND KIDS AT ALL? You don’t even MENTION santa is coming until about Halloween, because you KNOW they will be through the ROOF until December 25th. You don’t tell them you are going to DisneyWorld a YEAR before you go.
THIS IS BASIC PARENTING HERE PIXAR. GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
I can swear on my womb that you don’t need to worry about selling us WALL*E toys. We’re buying them. It’s just a GIVEN. My wallet is yours.
Now release the fucker early or babysit my kid. Take your pick.
A Queen PSA:
(CNN) — The makers of several leading over-the-counter cold medications are voluntarily withdrawing products sold for infants, the Consumer Healthcare Products Association said Thursday.
The over-the-counter cold medications for infants that are being voluntarily withdrawn are:
• Dimetapp Decongestant Plus Cough Infant Drops
• Dimetapp Decongestant Infant Drops
• Little Colds Decongestant Plus Cough
• Little Colds Multi-Symptom Cold Formula
• Pediacare Infant Drops Decongestant (containing pseudoephedrine)
• Pediacare Infant Drops Decongestant & Cough (containing pseudoephedrine)
• Pediacare Infant Dropper Decongestant (containing phenylephrine)
• Pediacare Infant Dropper Long-Acting Cough
• Pediacare Infant Dropper Decongestant & Cough (containing phenylephrine)
• Robitussin Infant Cough DM Drops
• Triaminic Infant & Toddler Thin Strips Decongestant
• Triaminic Infant & Toddler Thin Strips Decongestant Plus Cough
• Tylenol Concentrated Infants’ Drops Plus Cold
• Tylenol Concentrated Infants’ Drops Plus Cold & Cough
I think I probably overdose my kids. I have a friend who always UNDERdoses because she’s so paranoid. This scares me because I know sometimes you’re so desperate to stop that cough or that runny nose or that miserable baby/kid laying there thing that its really hard. This little “voluntary” recall combined with last months news that cough suppressants don’t even WORK…sigh.
***Queen edit: Karen sent me the link to the ads, old and new, for you to see. What do you think-scare tactic or hard hitting?***
I’m absolutely through the ROOF on this one. The Washington Post is reporting today breastfeeding ads by federal health officials were CENSORED to blow smoke up the formula lobby’s ass. DESPITE THE FACT THIS DIRECTLY AFFECTS THE HEALTH OF OUR CHILDREN.
The formula lobby HIRED the FORMER CHAIRMAN of the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE to fight what was to be a really strong campaign to show women just what might happen to their kids if they chose NOT to breastfeed.
Heath and Human Services HIRED an ad agency who came up with the spots (showing inhalers and insulin syringes) and when FORCED to tone them down the ad agency warned the new ads would NOT be effective. And guess what???? “The milder campaign HHS eventually used had no discernible impact on the nation’s breast-feeding rate, which lags behind the rate in many European countries.”
As if that isn’t bad enough, some of the GOOD people at HHS tried to get the word out anyway when a new study appeared further confirming the dire need to raise US breastfeeding rates,
“A top HHS official said that at the time, Suzanne Haynes, an epidemiologist and senior science adviser for the department’s Office on Women’s Health, argued strongly in favor of promoting the new conclusions in the media and among medical professionals. But her office, which commissioned the report, was specifically instructed by political appointees not to disseminate a news release.”
The United States government PURPOSEFULLY and KNOWINGLY just tried to FUCK your kids.
I’m beyond full of rage. I am beyond upset. I am beyond writing a few letters. I’ll be contacting Rep. Henry Waxman of California, who is leading the committee looking into this, and I’m demanding -DEMANDING an apology from those in charge. I want assurances this never happens again and I want to know, from the f’ing President himself that they are actually trying to HELP my children, not harm them.
Politics just directly messed with my family. You can talk about education and politics and social services and politics-all very important. To me this really brings corruption in our government to a whole new level. This is HEALTH. THE HEALTH of the CHILDREN in this COUNTRY. The actual LIFE AND DEATH of millions of American kids.
I’m not being over dramatic. I’ve just HAD IT. I’m done sitting on the sidelines.
I won’t be painted as some crazy lactavist either. Now I’m a Mom who just watched Lobbiest SCREW families. ON PURPOSE. I’m not naive, I know this happens all the time up there in DC. But SWEET MOTHER OF GOD you just REPRESSED information that could SAVE children’s lives.
You’re going down. I’m going to make sure of it. The sick fucks in the formula industry and their Republican crownies are about to get a Queen style ass-whuppin.
This has nothing to do with “ability” to breastfeed or “what works for your family.” This is called PROPAGANDA from big business and I’m done tolerating it. Done.
queenofspainblog@yahoo.com is the email if you’d like to help plan.
I would like to see mothers of formula fed kids on here too. They snowed your asses as well and you should be pissed. This isn’t about breast vs. bottle. This is about the US government tricking you. Lying to you. And failing to serve you. Bowing to the almighty lobby and dollar at the COST OF YOUR CHILDRENS’ HEALTH AND WELL BEING. Don’t forget, they serve you. Make them do their fucking jobs.
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS
Up until about 4-6 weeks ago, my daughter was nothing like me. She was sweet and quiet and shy. She picked flowers and sang to blue birds perched on her finger. Yes, the bluebirds harmonized with her.
I was confident she was going to be one of those sweet, nice, sunshine smile kind of girls. The kind and gentle voice of reason to her slutty, stupid girlfriends. Studious. Polite to a fault. Teachers pet. You’re getting the picture here, right?
Well, apparently at 2 1/2 years old she’s just NOW decided that halo-polishing baby I knew was just an act. We’ve entered classic terrible two territory with the “NO!” and “I DO IT MYSELF” but with a Princess Peanut Punk as Fuck TWIST-she’s got a hair flip, eyelash bat, head cock thing going on that scares the bejeeezus out of me.
She is going to CRUSH men. CRUSH them.
In the meantime, she’s crushing me. I tell her “no” and I get an “I want DADDY!” in response. I say “stop that right now” and I get a “NO Mommy” then she grabs my cheeks and kisses me on the lips. As if to say, “I’m not going to do what you say, but I’m cute and loving and I will at least give you a nice kiss before defying you, silly woman.”
I’m fucked.
Time outs are not working. Taking away toys seems to only fuel her evil. I took away a beloved baby and she said (and I’m not kidding here) “pffffffffffffft.” She pfffffft’d my punishment and walked away.
I keep reminding myself we went through this with Count Waffles, and he’s now a model citizen. I keep telling myself its just another phase and it will pass.
In all honesty, I’m not sure. The hair flip, head cock, eyelash bat thing-is beyond “phase.” Its possible I inadvertently taught her how to work a man. She’s using it against me. She’s using it against her father. She’s using it against the world.
I blame myself of course. I obviously showed her my wily ways. I didn’t realize she was soaking it in, but…there it is. OR, maybe its just in the DNA? She’s got some female Queen-gene that helps her pout her lips and lean her head on her father’s shoulder at JUST the right, somewhat evil, moment.
What I need to remember here is that I’M the Queen. I’m the ALPHA female in THIS house. I will not fear her. I will not give in to her. I’m not going to fold at a mere eyelash bat, sulk episode in my kitchen.
She can’t make me.
